Love and Pain
by MoonlightSpirit
Summary: When Edward returns in 'New Moon', Jacob is heartbroken that Bella is back with Edward. Jacob's feelings on Edward's return, Bella's constant phone calls that he never answers and losing the girl he loves to a vampire. Songfic to 'Whisper' by Evanescence.


**I wrote this story for my best friend who asked me to listen to the song **_**Whisper **_**by Evanescence (and is majorly Team Jacob)! So here's **_**Love and Pain**_**. It's from Jacob's POV and takes place after Edward returns in **_**New Moon.**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the song **_**Whisper**_**.**

**Jacob's POV**

As I sit on the beach of La Push at twilight, I think…two weeks. That's how long it's been since that damn leech returned and sucked Bella away from me. He's gone for months and then just put's his stupid "life" on the line, causing Bella more pain than she needed and dragging her right back to him, put her life in danger too. I use the term "life" loosely for that bloodsucker. I mean, you're not really living if your heart is not beating right?

A part of me wishes that Bella will come back to me, realize that I love her more than that leech does and she will catch me before I fall for her so hard that I end up getting hurt. I want her to return, to say that she broke up with that guy and that I'm the one she truly loves.

_Catch me as I fall_

_  
Say you're here and it's all over now_

I look up at the cloudy sky and let out a low, humorless laugh that's floats up through the cool air into the atmosphere. That's just a fantasy. No way is it really happening. She loves that damn guy too much and I'm just here alone, have my own personal pity part.

_  
Speaking to the atmosphere_

_  
No one's here and I fall into myself_

To my surprise, tears sting at my eyes. No way. No way am I crying over this. I lean my head forward, pressing my palms against my eyes to stop the tears. But the more I hold the tears back, the more I feel this ripping pain in my chest, as if my heart itself is being slowly torn to pieces.

_This truth drives me into madness_

I try to ignore the pain, try to will it away, but it won't leave. It won't leave me alone!

_  
I know I can stop the pain_

_  
If I will it all away_

_  
If I will it all away_

I take a deep, calming breath, removing my hands from my eyes and blinking my eyes open. I haven't spoken to Bella since the leech returned. She's tried to reach me, but I just don't want to talk to her. I can't. It would be too hard. I know I shouldn't turn away from her. Heh, I'm leaving her just like that bloodsucker did.

I wonder, should I return Bella's calls? Should I just give into the pain of being separated from her and call her. No, I won't. I refuse to. She has her leech, she's fine without me.

_Don't turn away_

_  
(Don't give in to the pain)_

I'm not going to hide that I'm hurt, that I wish she would dump that bloodsucker and leave him like he left her. Give him a taste of his own damn medicine. Sure, she calls and I don't answer, but calling isn't much of an effort. If she really cared, she'd get her ass down here to La Push and leave that no good vampire.

_  
Don't try to hide_

_  
(Though they're screaming your name)_

I lay back on the sand, looking up at the darkening sky. I closed my eyes…and snapped them open. That had been happening a lot lately. Everytime I closed my eyes, I would see Bella's face in front of me, smiling and bright and know that _I w_as the one that put that smile on her beautiful face.

_Don't close your eyes_

_  
(God knows what lies behind them)_

It made it hard to sleep. If I wasn't seeing Bella in my head, I was seeing her in my dreams. Dreams of us being together. Or nightmares of that leech killing her, sucking every drop of blood from her body.

_  
Don't turn out the light_

_  
(Never sleep, never die)_

If he ever leaves her again…I'll personally find him and _destroy_ him myself. O can't believe what he put Bella through. When I first saw her after she left, she looked so…broken. And fragile and vulnerable. It scared me to see her like that. I feared she was suicidal.

_I'm frightened by what I see_

I knew that wouldn't be the last time I saw her like that. That's why I did my best to make her happy. Because, unlike that bloodsucker, I knew what was best for Bella.

_  
But somehow I know that there's much more to come_

Maybe I didn't call Bella back out of…fear? Fear that she'd just say she didn't want to see me again. Or that she was- and I shuddered at the thought- going to become one of his kind?

Damn, stupid tears again. I close my eyes, waiting for the tears to go away before opening them again.

_  
Immobilized by my fear_

_  
And soon to be blinded by tears_

I took another deep breath, trying to dissipate the pain. Yeah, didn't work at all.

_I can stop the pain_

_If I will it all away_

_If I will it all away_

_Don't turn away_

_  
(Don't give in to the pain)_

_  
Don't try to hide_

_  
(Though they're screaming your name)_

_Don't close your eyes_

_(God knows what lies behind them)_

_  
Don't turn out the light_

_  
(Never sleep, never die)_

I'm not sure when, but at some point, I must have fallen asleep, because suddenly I wasn't on the beach anymore.

_**I stood in the alone in forest. It seemed darker than usual, like there was something unnatural here. Suddenly, at my feet, there was a small moan. I looked down…and my eyes widened in horror.**_

_**Bella lay at my feet, blood pouring from a wound on her neck. A bite wound. Like a bite from a vampire. Her skin was ghostly pale. She reached out at me with a pale hand.**_

"_**Jacob, help," she said in a small, weak voice. I bent down next to her, putting a hand on her pale cheek. She was cold as ice. Cold as death.**_

"_**Bella, who did this to you?" I whispered.**_

"_**E-Edward," she said, her voice cracking, tears falling from her chocolate brown eyes. As gently as I could, I cradled her in my arms, trying to warm her cold body with my warm one.**_

_**I knew this would happen. Why did she fall in love with that killer? Tears that I couldn't fight back fell from my eyes as her blood covered my arms and chest. I cried over the fallen angel in my arms.**_

_Fallen angels at my feet_

"_**Kill him Jacob," whispered a small, demonical voice in my head, "He did this to her. Kill him." **_

_  
Whispered voices at my ear_

_**As gently as I could, I put Bella down as the heat shook my body and I changed from human to wolf. I followed the sickly sweet scent of the murderer. And I found him. He didn't fight back as I tore through his stone body. In a matter of seconds, he was nothing but snow white pieces at my paws.**_

"_**Jacob," said Bella's small, weak voice again. I turned to see she was behind me, lying on the ground in a pool of her own blood. I turned back into a human, scooping her up into my arms.**_

"_**Bella," I whispered. She gave me a weak smile.**_

"_**Bye Jacob," she said. And with that, a final breath passed her lips and she died in my arms.**_

_  
Death before my eyes_

_  
Lying next to me, I fear_

_**I closed my eyes, by body shaking with held back sobs.**_

"_**Jacob," said Bella's voice again. Wait, isn't she dead? And this time her voice was stronger. And the scent was back. That sickly sweet scent.**_

_**I opened my eyes to find Bella no longer in my arms. Instead, she stood in front of me, skin snow pale, her usual chocolate brown eyes a bright red, and she was dressed in a silky, strapless, blood red gown. Her eyes were the same color of a newborn vampire.**_

"_**Come to me Jacob," she said, holding out a pale hand, smiling at me, her teeth shining, despite the darkness that surrounded us. For the first time, Bella looked…deadly.**_

_She beckons me, shall I give in?_

_**Against my will, I stood and walked over to her. All my principles flew out the window as Bella's arms creeped around my neck and she pulled my head down to hers so that our lips crashed together.**_

_  
Upon my end shall it begin_

_  
Forsaking all I've fallen for_

_**Her lips skimmed over my jaw. Her lips were unusually warm for a vampire. She trailed her lips down my neck…and bit down hard. An excruciating pain ripped through my body-**_

I sat straight up, still on the beach. Night had long ago fallen.

_  
I rise to meet the end_

_Don't turn away_

_(Don't give in to the pain)_

_Don't try to hide_

_(Though they're screaming your name)_

_Don't close your eyes_

_  
(God knows what lies behind them)_

_  
Don't turn out the light_

_  
(Never sleep, never die)_

My body shook from the shock of the dream, it seemed so vivid. And the real horror of it…was that it could come true.

_Don't turn away_

_(Servatis a periculum)_

_  
(Don't give in to the pain)_

_  
(Servatis a maleficum)_

_  
Don't try to hide_

_  
(Though they're screaming your name)_

_  
(Servatis a periculum)_

One day, Bella could become one of those bloodsuckers and I knew she wouldn't be the same Bella anymore. She would be one of _them_.

_  
Don't close your eyes_

_  
(God knows what lies behind them)_

_  
(Servatis a maleficum)_

_  
Don't turn out the light_

_  
(Never sleep, never die)_

_Don't turn away_

_(Servatis a periculum)_

_  
(Don't give in to the pain)_

_  
(Servatis a maleficum)_

_  
Don't try to hide_

_  
(Though they're screaming your name)_

_(Servatis a periculum)_

_Don't close your eyes_

_  
(God knows what lies behind them)_

_  
(Servatis a maleficum)_

_  
Don't turn out the light_

_  
(Never sleep, never die)_

I stood up, dusting the sand off my shirts and began the walk home. I suspect Bella called again. Maybe I'd call her back this time.

_Servatis a periculum_

_  
Servatis a maleficum_

_  
Servatis a periculum_

_  
Servatis a maleficum_

_Servatis a periculum_

_  
Servatis a maleficum_

_  
Servatis a periculum_

_  
Servatis a maleficum_

Heh, who was I kidding. I must have told myself a dozen times that I was going to call Bella back and never even picked up the phone to attempt to do so.

_Servatis a periculum_

_  
Servatis a maleficum_

_  
Servatis a periculum_

_  
Servatis a maleficum_

_Servatis a periculum_

_  
Servatis a maleficum_

My dad was already asleep when I got home, but I noticed that the kitchen light was still on. I walked into the kitchen to find a note on top of an envelope on the table.

_Jacob, _

_Charlie came by and told me that Bella wanted to give you this._

_Dad_

I sat down at the table and opened the envelope to find a letter in Bella's handwriting.

_Dear Jacob,_

_You haven't answered any of my calls, so I asked Charlie to give this to your dad to give this to you. I'm sorry I hurt you, I really didn't mean to. But Jake, you know what I was like when Edward left-_

How could she use that bloodsucker's name so easily?!

_and not that he's back, I feel so much happier. Like a part of me was missing and now I'm complete again. But Jake, I still want us to be friends. You're a huge part of my life and I can't imagine what my life would be like without you. I'm sorry I haven't been to La Push in a while-_

She calls two weeks a mere _while_?!

_but Edward's concerned about me being around werewolves. _

After leaving her for months, that damn leech thinks he could just waltz back into Bella's life and tell her what to do?!

_He says that werewolves can sometimes be uncontrollable and doesn't want me to get hurt. He can be so overprotective at times, but he means well. Jacob, please write back._

_Love,_

_Bella_

I put the note down on the table, put my head in my hands and sighed. Well, there was only one thing to do now. I stood up and walked over to the drawer, taking out a piece of paper and a pen. Then I sat back down at the table and began to write.

**There's **_**Love and Pain. **_**If you didn't know, the end of this story is when Jacob starts to write the letter he wrote to Bella in Eclipse. I hope you liked this! Please Review!**


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